[Begin Rant]
For me, however, there are a few more hoops to jump through. We thought we were doing so well. We went to the IND (Immigratie en Naturalisatiedienst equivalent of ICE in the US) back in September to submit all the paperwork. The woman takes everything, puts a temporary residency stamp in my passport good for 6 months (because that's how long it will take to process the application, and not a day less), and I get my IND number. We take this information and head to the gemeente (township -- pronounce heh-men-tay) to register with them and get my BSN (burgerservicenummer or SSN equivalent). I think we're doing GREAT! (Note: I tried to show my marriage license to the guy at the gemeente at the time but he wasn't interested)
In January I started flipping out because we hadn't heard anything from the IND and my temporary residency permit was going to expire late March. I looked into contacting the IND regarding the status of my application but everything I found on their website clearly indicated "Don't bother contacting us unless it is after the deadline given". Ok. Great. (Stupid me called anyway and was told the same thing by a human. Worth a shot, right?)
A few weeks ago I get a letter from the IND stating that we didn't supply the correct marriage license and we have 2 weeks to submit the correct one. And if we didn't submit the correct one in 2 weeks they were going to make their decision based on the information they had. There is a version that is "apostilled" (pronounced "ah-poe-steeled") which needs to come from the state and is certified specific to the country accepting the marriage license (it has a fancy, big yellow seal on it). In other words... given that we're currently in NL, this is now something that is going to take longer than 2 weeks to obtain using the normal process.
It certainly would've been nice if the woman back in September had said "Hey.... this isn't the right marriage license".
Needless to say, I started flipping out. We have a guest coming in April. I'm supposed to go to England with her. England isn't in the Schengen zone. Am I going to be stuck at Schiphol with just a carry-on? Will I be sent home? What will I do then? (Running around the apartment frantically while sobbing)
The next day I call the IND and explain that I probably can't get the marriage license in 2 weeks. The woman seems ok with it and says I can have an 8 week extension. WHEW! We head back to the IND (hubs more for moral support than anything else) and I get a new temporary residency stamp in my passport good until late May. I can go to London without worrying about coming back.
The letter from the IND also stated we needed to get the marriage registered at the gemeente. I'm confused and a little irked. Why is this step necessary, why didn't anyone say anything before (neither hubs nor I recall anyone saying this had to be done), and why didn't the guy at the gemeente show any interest in my marriage license back in October? So, I head to the gemeente just to verify that they also need the apostilled version. Turns out, they do. I can come back on Mon, Tues, Wed or Fri between 8:20 am and 11 am to register the marriage (outside that time requires an appointment and that can take a few weeks to obtain). Ok, sure, whatever.
Hubs, feeling horrible for not doing a better due diligence on what was needed for me to register, pays through the nose to get an apostilled version expedited. Glory of glories... it arrived on Monday. WOO HOO! I upload it to the IND as they stated was a valid option in their letter. I didn't want to mail it to them cuz 1) it might get lost; 2) I needed it for the gemeente. Hubs starts fretting that the uploaded version won't be accepted by the IND. I tell him we'll deal with that if they complain.
On Tuesday we head to the gemeente to register the marriage. We show up at 8:17 am to get our number and are told they start at 8:30 am (HUH!? Why was I told 8:20?!?!). Whatever. Our number is called (think DMV, except you can sit while doing your transaction). We walk up to the desk and hand the woman the marriage license. She starts flipping out that it's not the original. "Is this the original? It doesn't look like the original? I don't think this is the original". We keep saying "yes, it is the original". I keep saying "there's a raised seal" hoping she'll brush her hand across the paper. More importantly, there's the magical piece of paper with the freaking special stamp on it. ACK!. Finally she holds the paper up to the light and relents that it is indeed the original. GRRR!!!
She does all she needs to do and then tells us it will take 12 weeks to process the application. I'm like "ok, whatever. sure glad we didn't mail the marriage license to the IND. I don't even know what this step is for". And I'm also back to being irked that I don't recall anyone saying this needed to be done before. But, this seems like some weird extra step, so... whatever.
Welp... I get a call from the IND this morning (Note: when you answer the phone in NL you're supposed to answer by saying your name, which I forgot to do. OOPS!) The woman tells me I need to go to the gemeente and register the marriage. I told her we did that on Tuesday and were told it would take 12 weeks to process. She flips out "TWELVE WEEKS?! WHY?!?!" Hell if I know. Fortunately, the lady at the gemeente gave us a letter stating that it would take 12 weeks and I offered to upload that to the IND. The woman says to do that because she can't get any information from the gemeente as she is not me. Huh? 1 gov't agency can't contact another gov't agency to get information? How efficient [snark]. Since the 2 are tied to each other on this topic wouldn't it make sense to have a shared repository or a secure website where both entities can see what the status is on this topic? I guess that would be too efficient.
So... the IND needed the apostilled version of the marriage license BUT they're deferring to the gemeente to approve the marriage. WTF!?!? (Stomping around the apartment, throwing things, writing this blog post in order to vent frustration)
I'm not saying we're innocent victims in all of this. The information about needing the apostilled marriage license is indeed online (granted, it takes about 3 clicks to get to the point where they explicitly state it needs to be apostilled, but it is there). And since I stayed in the states over 5 months after hubs moved to NL there was definitely enough time to get that addressed. I'm more frustrated that much of this could've been abbreviated if they had more than glorified secretaries working the human-facing positions. Had the woman who took our paperwork at the IND back in September noted that it wasn't apostilled we could've gotten that squared away MONTHS ago and at significantly less cost. And if the guy at the gemeente back in October had actually shown some interest in my marriage license (say, something along the lines of "You need to make a separate appointment to register your marriage, and registering your marriage is mandatory") we would've had more than 12 weeks before my original temporary residence permit expired.
I'm sure the US is the same if maybe not worse. I have no idea. I was fortunate enough to have been born in the US so I only needed to deal with the DMV whenever I moved. My point is that these institutions really aren't much better in other countries. And don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise.
[End of Rant]
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