Free range parenting - Dutch level

The general consensus here regarding parenting seems to be "Unless an appendage has been lost, I don't care what my child does". The parents really just don't seem to care what their children are doing. Many times, you can't even tell who the parent is because the kids have been permitted to wander far away from the parents.

One time I saw 2 women biking along the boardwalk with 3 children. One of the children, who looked to be about 3 years old, was on a little razor thingy (see image below)... FAR behind the adults. Neither of the women seemed to care or notice. It was almost like watching one of those nature shows where the momma animal is on the move and if one of her offspring doesn't make it then... oh well.

One mode of transportation for children not old enough to bike

A few weeks ago hubs and I were walking along the beach and saw a girl of about 2 or 3 years of age walking and crying, yelling "momma". We looked, no one in the immediate vicinity was reacting. We then spotted a woman about 50' away from the girl pushing a stroller who turned around and seemed to acknowledge the girl existed and was still alive. She didn't stop to let the girl catch up, she just kept on going.

Last year hubs and I went to a museum dedicated to antique and classic cars. One of the rooms contained fuel pumps that were quite old. We watched several children try their best to destroy the pumps. None of the adults in the room seemed to care. Turns out none of the adults in the room were the children's parents. They arrived several minutes later, not that it really mattered. They didn't seem to care what the children were doing either. No appendages were missing... no behavior to be modified or corrected.

I don't support helicopter parenting either, but if the parents aren't reprimanding the children for their behavior, who will?

The Locksmith

The apartment hubs and I live in comes with a parking spot. Since we don't have a car, the only items ever parked in it are our bikes. A very common feature of parking spaces here in NL is what I've heard called a "bullbar" (not sure if I'm spelling that properly. It is a device that when raised prohibits others from parking in the parking spot.

Bullbar in up and in down positions

Shortly after hubs moved into the apartment (and before I arrived) he pulled the bullbar into the "up" position so that we could lock our bikes to it. As I said, we don't have a car so there was never a need to put the bar down.

We have guests coming in September who will have a car and will need the parking spot. There was a key in the kitchen which I thought was the key to the bullbar, but alas, it was not. Hubs searched through all the keys he had and came up empty. The landlord said that the key had been turned over to us at move-in and had a document with hubs' initials on it affirming that. That left us with 1 option... find a locksmith to remove the existing lock and put in a new one.

The trend here in NL (or at least Den Haag) seems to be that if a store repairs shoes it also makes keys. So, we stopped at 1 such place in city center and they told us they didn't do it. We stopped at another such place much closer to our apartment. We were told the owner knew more about that and he was on vacation, expected to be back the next Tuesday. The following Tuesday we stopped by again and were told the owner wouldn't be back until Thursday. (Sigh) On Thursday I stopped by, the owner *WAS* there (WOO HOO!) and he gave me the name of someone who actually did do this for a living.

Sidebar: When I have to interact with the locals, I'm really trying to practice my Dutch. I went into the shop, and started my conversation (in Dutch) with "My husband and I live on Palaceplein (the name of our street) and we have a bullbar in our parking spot". The owner said something in Dutch, I said I didn't speak Dutch well, and he answered that he had asked me if I wanted to talk about that. Ha! The literal Dutch.

Back to the main thread...
I have a hard enough time talking to the locals when it's face-to-face. I'm almost petrified to talk to them on the phone. Thus, it took me a few days to screw up the courage to call the number on the card. But, I did screw up the courage and the person on the other end of the phone ("Joop" - pronounced "yope") said he could come by in about 20 minutes.

Actually, the conversation was much more protracted because  he had trouble understanding the address so he asked me to send him a text message, which I did. I waited about 15 minutes and then headed down to the lobby to wait for Joop. After a short period of time I became concerned that I had misunderstood him regarding what time he would show up, so I texted him to remind him that I was waiting for him in the lobby and to ask what time did he say he could be there. He replied "5 minutes. coper cleur". I thought "coper cleur" was some Dutch thing, so I plugged it into Google translate and got nothing.. except the same words in all caps. Huh?

He shows up soon after that and I see that he's wearing a copper colored blazer. AH! "cleur" is close to "kleur" which is the Dutch word for "color", so I thought he meant he would be wearing a copper colored jacket. So far, we're off to a decent start. I take him to the parking spot and he starts talking about how it should be ok for him to leave his car where he parked it and that we could go upstairs. OK - now I'm confused. Then it dawns on him and on me at the same time. There was a miscommunication. He thought I needed help with the apartment lock and that I was just showing him where the parking spot was so he could move his car.  Hurdle jumped... he gets down to the business of removing the lock in the bullbar.

Let me describe Joop. He is older than I am. In fact, at 1 point he proudly informs me that he is 81!! He is shorter than I am and I'm only 5'5". He also weighs less than I do. He's toting these 2 heavy toolboxes, navigating his way down the lethal Dutch stairs into our parking garage. I offer to help him carry something, but he informs me that he is strong. He also informs me that he couldn't understand me when I trying to give him the address because his hearing is not so good. He's wearing typical Dutch brown pointy shoes, dress slacks and a copper colored blazer (as previously mentioned). Not what I would think someone who replaces locks would find comfortable for their line of work. He has to keep getting on his knees and then stand up to fiddle with the bullbar. He definitely has more strength and stamina than I'm sure I will ever have if I reach that age.

After several attempts with a battery-powered hammer drill like thingy, he is able to get the lock out. Alas... it is a half-cylinder and he only has a full cylinder with him. He needs to go find one and come back. I inform him that there is no rush and he can come back the next day or the next week. Apparently the next week was not good for him. We say our goodbyes. ("Dank je wel. Tot ziens!")

The next day I get a call from Joop, he has the lock and will be at the apartment in about 30 minutes. I'm not sure if it's my inability to pronounce Dutch properly or his poor hearing, but when I say "half elf?" to confirm when he would be there (this is Dutch for "half 11" which here means 10:30, NOT 11:30) he says "Yes, like I said, 30 minutes".

I hadn't gotten around to taking a shower yet (Don't judge! I do other stuff in the apartment in the a.m. before I take a shower), so I quickly take care of all that and go down to the lobby to wait for him. This time I'm able to see his car.. the CAR is copper colored. OH! Now I get it!! We go back down to the parking garage and he shows me the lock he found in some town I don't remember the name of. But he made it sound like he had to go far away. When I asked him how far away that town is he said "20 km". Um... k. To me, 12.5 miles isn't that great a distance. Any who...

This lock is FANCY! The keys are the kind that cannot be duplicated just anywhere, and there is a card that goes with the keys which must be presented to the locksmith in order to have a copy made. Alrighty then! He gets the lock mechanism into the hole only to discover he doesn't have the right sized screw. Sigh. I'm thinking he needs to leave and come back again, but Joop is resourceful! He takes an existing screw and cuts it down to size with a hacksaw. After a couple of cuts with the hacksaw... VOILA! The lock is in place and working as intended. He is proud of himself, as he should be.

Thank you, Joop, for your resourcefulness. We now have a fully functioning parking spot!!

Things in the NL that gross me out (1st edition)

Gross item #1:  For those that have been following my blog, you will undoubtedly know that the amount of dog crap (poep or schijt in Dutch) lying on the sidewalk annoys me greatly. I'm currently trying to come up with a t-shirt a la London's "Mind the Gap" t-shirt that says "Mind the Crap". The one thing that makes the dog poop situation just that much better is when it turns into a soggy pile during a rain storm or when someone has rolled their portable shopping cart through a pile and spread it down the sidewalk. YEAH!!! (Once I accidentally stepped in a pile while wearing my running shoes which have a really deep tread. BLEH!!!)

Portable shopping cart -- essential for doing grocery shopping without a car. I have 3!!

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Gross item #2: A couple weeks ago hubs and I were walking back from the beach and there was a family walking in front of us. Mom wasn't wearing any shoes. I thought I was going to hurl the whole way home. Besides the abundance of dog crap all over the place, there are even more cigarette butts and broken glass. ACK!!?!!

Small victories

There are a few thins I've noticed about the Dutch since moving here. 2 of them are: 1) they walk REALLY quickly!; 2) colder weather doesn't seem to phase them

I thought I was a quick walker. I mean, I know I've slowed down with age, but I still thought I walked at a pretty good clip. That was until I moved here. I'm often being passed by someone while I'm walking down the street. I know Dutchies tend to be tall, but even the ones who don't look to be that much taller than I am are whizzing past me. A friend and I took a "free" tour of Den Hagg. (I say "free" because the tour guide told us as part of her introduction that there was an expectation of a tip once the tour was completed) I didn't think the tour guide was that much taller than I am. Sure, I was old enough to be her mother, but still... I walk every day. Any who... my friend and I were often at the back of the group as we walked through the city. Sigh. 

So... 1 small thing that makes me feel "good" is when *I* overtake someone while walking on the street. I don't care if they're 200 years old and using a cane... I have walked faster than a Dutchie!! WOO HOO!

During the colder months, I was often bundled up with a hat, and a scarf, and a warm coat... and still feeling chilled by the wind. (I purchased some AWESOME earmuffs while in Ireland last month because my inner ear will start to hurt from the wind, which there is no short supply of here in Scheveningen. They should help a lot come winter time.) I'd be walking along the beach seeing many people with no hats on acting like it was almost tropical!! Meanwhile I'm shivering, trying to pull my hat over my entire body.

Every so often, though, there will be times when I'm not dressed like a polar vortex is happening and I will see someone who is all bundled up. And I think to myself.. "YES! I'm not the coldest person out here!!!"

It's sad, I know, that these things make me feel better. But when you're the one who is standing out like a sore thumb much of the time, it's nice to be blending in on occasion.

Leapfrog on the tram

There is a game I often play when I'm riding the tram... leapfrog.
In most places the tram is running right beside the road where there are bicyclists, which we pass... until we get to the next tram stop.

At that point the fietser will keep zipping past the tram while we wait for passengers to unload and load. Then the tram starts up again, and sure enough we pass the fietser who just passed us!

I will continue this game for as long as I can.

What can I say... simple pleasures.

Apenheul (Ape Hill)

This past weekend hubs and I visited Apenheul in Apeldoorn. This is their website.

It's an interesting place that is only open during the warmer months and where 1 can view and walk among a variety of primates. There was little chance we'd actually be walking among the primates as there were many children at Apenheul and since the children were busy chasing the animals, none of the apes got particularly close to hubs or I. I actually felt sorry for the animals, and wished a couple times that they'd bite a child (not severely, of course) to teach them (their parents?) a lesson about following instructions.

It was definitely worth the 2+ hour travel time (remember, we don't have a vehicle and rely on public transportation for everything). And the weather was spectacular. No rain. Not too hot. We definitely lucked out with that.

Some ring-tailed lemurs watching a plane pass by overhead

They did have a few other animals in addition to primates. There was a rhea, a capybara (hubs was impressed with their size and thought they should've been used as the RUS's in "A Princess Bride"), and some Northern bald ibis which are apparently extremely endangered.

Northern Bald Ibis

There were signs in several places informing guests to not feed the primates, to not lure the primates and to not touch the primates. The signs also warned that the primates may bite. What did we witness within 2 minutes of entering the park? A woman luring a primate with some food so she could touch it. Sigh.

There were several parts of the park that were under construction: adding new exhibits or expanding existing ones. If we're still here next summer we may go again to see what's been added.

Strollers (Kinderwagens)

Strollers are a big deal here in NL. I am often in awe at the space-age looking strollers that I see being pushed around Den Haag. I guess it makes sense that strollers would be high tech given that the Dutch aren't afraid to go walking outdoors in any kind of weather, regardless of how old little Saskia or Willem might be.

The strollers seem to be some form of "transformer", starting off as a pram where the infant is lying down and evolving into something for an older baby. Often there is a sleeping bag-like cover that the child's legs are nestled into to protect them from the elements.

"Transformer" stroller

My favorite is the double-decker stroller where there is 1 pram on the top and another on the bottom. I've only seen a couple of these and I was in awe both times as their size.

"Double-decker" twin stroller

I've also noticed that, for some reason, the strollers usually have a V-shaped wheelbase, where the 2 back wheels are farther apart and there is either only 1 front wheel or 2 front wheels close to each other. I can only assume this provides for better maneuverability. Also, the seat that the child is in seems to sit higher than the ones I'm used to seeing back in the US.

V-Shaped wheelbase

No matter what the make or model, the strollers here are a far cry from the umbrella strollers I'm used to seeing. Then again, here in NL, when children are about that age the parents have already promoted them to a "balance bike" which I will discuss in a future post.