The Dutch are so closed off, but I'm not going to embrace their culture!

Within a few months of arriving in NL I attended a free seminar designed for expats. I don't remember the exact title, but I always referred to it as "How not to piss off the Dutch". The main purpose of the seminar was to help non-Dutchies gain some insight into how Dutch society works so as to be able to better integrate.

One part of Dutch culture revolves around not closing your curtains... period. Doesn't matter how close your house is to the sidewalk or what room it is, curtain closing can be viewed as a no-no. The Dutch will wonder "What do they have to hide?".

Now, on the flip side, one is not supposed to look into the windows of houses. This can be quite difficult when someone's living room window is less than 5 feet away from you as you walk down the sidewalk and there is movement in the house (my head almost always moves in the direction of any motion detected in my peripheral vision). Also, residences and businesses can exist side-by-side. One is supposed to look in a store window, right? On top of that, people put pretty things in their windows.. am I not supposed to look at those? (read about this behavior here).

I mention all of this because recently in an NL expat FB group someone asked how the other non-Dutchies were dealing with the heat. AC just isn't a thing here, which I get, because it's not hot for months on end, and the Dutch can be quite a frugal people. Alas, window screens aren't a thing either!! UGH! We opened the windows on Sunday to let in some fresh air and about 100 flies took the opportunity to set up residence.

Anywho... the original poster asked if others were just sitting around their houses naked to get some respite. This led to a discussion about being naked with the curtains open. One person actually replied "You don't have to do these social control things just because they do. We don't have to take on their quirks unless we feel like it!" The irony being he/she is probably one of those people who shakes their head in disgust when Americans "stand out" in foreign countries via their behavior.

I also often read complaints about how the Dutch aren't very welcoming to non-Dutchies. Well... with attitudes like the one above, why would they? If you're going to thumb your nose at the social norms of the natives don't be shocked/angered/hurt if they keep you at arm's length.

(Full disclosure: we close our curtains in the afternoon/evening, but only because the sun shines directly into our apartment making it almost impossible to watch TV or simply be comfortable)

One year anniversary

Tuesday August 27, 2019  (Dinsdag 27 Augustus)

On this Tuesday in 2018 I got off a plane at Schiphol airport in Amsterdam, NL and began a brand new life.

I didn't sleep a wink during the flights (1 leg from Baltimore to Iceland and another leg from Iceland to NL) over to Europe, having spent much of the time crying, mourning the loss of the life I was leaving behind: my sons, the home I had lived in for 14 years, my friends, my job (well, not so much mourning that one 😉). But those feelings of loss were mingled with excitement about seeing my husband again who had already moved to NL 5 months prior.

So.. here I am, 1 year later and it has been a mixed blessing...

During that time hubs and I have visited 7 countries and 2 continents! (in chronological order) Portugal (Sept), Spain (Sept), Ireland (Oct - unfortunately for the funeral of one of hubs' uncles), Belgium (Nov), Morocco (Feb -- woo hoo! another continent under my belt), UK (April - England and Wales - great to have a friend from the US visiting!!!), Ireland (May - take 2) and the Czech Republic (July).

And next week we're going to spend a few days in Paris to meet friends of hubs with a stop in Belgium (Bruges and possibly Ghent) as we all drive back to our apartment.

Hubs and I have set a goal of visiting all 12 provinces of NL. So far we've visited 11. Overijssel... we haven't forgotten you!! Part of this goal included seeing the world's oldest functioning planetarium which was quite cool.

We experienced the phenomenon (and controversy) that is the arrival of Sinter Klaas and Zwarte Piet  on December 5 at the port, a much bigger deal here in NL than Christmas, which is a very subdued day spent with family and attending church services for those who are inclined.

We were fortunate enough to spend 2 weeks around the holidays back in the US. It was wonderful to see my sons again. I have resigned myself to their hesitancy to fly and that the only time I will see them is if I go back to the US. I just wish they were a little chattier over FB PM!!!

After about 7 months I received my residency permit... let's just say that bureaucrats here aren't much different than they are back in the US. "My job is to collect papers. It is *NOT* to tell you that you gave me copies that will not be accepted by the immigration services."

I've also made a friend or 2 here in NL. One I have yet to actually meet in person, but she was very kind, she saw me posting on an expat FB page and actually called to let me know she was there for me if I needed/wanted. We still interact over FB. Another lives closer and we have regular "dates" now which have been quite enjoyable.

Ik heb wat Nederlands geleerd (I have learned some Dutch). This has been very helpful as I feel less and less isolated since I can read much of what I see out on the street. And I can have basic conversations with sales clerks... just need to work on understanding them better!!

I've learned to book-end my conversations with some form of hello and goodbye... and thanks to the above item I've been able to add to my repertoire of acceptable phrases.

I have experienced the beach closing for the season (so weird to see the restaurants being boxed up and hauled away from the beach!) and the beach re-opening for the season (so weird to see all the restaurants being unboxed and put back on the beach!).

I have experienced the shortened winter days where the sun never rises any higher than about the 10am mark.

I have experienced the wonder of having the sun stay up until past 11pm.

I missed celebrating (in person) my sons' birthdays.

I've missed spending my younger son's last "free" summer with him.

I've missed seeing my younger son head off for his last year of undergrad.

I've missed many weekly coffee-dates and several Sunday breakfast outings with my older son.

I have had to adjust to the time difference... hours where my friends and family back home are still asleep and aren't available to chat. (Although... some of you seem to be experience a little insomnia which has come in handy when it's 7am here - lol!)

I've been yelled at by someone on a moped while I was biking on the bike path because I didn't get over fast enough for him.

I've been kicked in the back of my chair in the movie theater because I was looking at my phone during the previews.

I've adjusted to dates being displayed in DD-MM-YYYY format, clocks being displayed in 24 hour format, and addresses being displayed in <STREET NAME> <HOUSE#> format (e.g. instead of 123 Main St, here it is written as Main Street 123)

I've experienced the wonder that are oliebollen and the disgust that is store-made stamppot. (Seriously -- the Dutch can make some decent desserts like oliebollen and appeltaart, but haven't seem to mastered a delicious main course)

I have visited some amazing museums... I've seen Rembrandt's "The Night Watch" and Vermeer's "Girl with the Pearl Earring". Pretty much every museum hubs and I have visited has not required payment for a ticket thanks to the country's Museumkaart. I've actually visited a few museums repeatedly without paying an entrance fee. (If I wanted to I could see "Girl with the Pearl Earring" every day the museum is open and not buy a ticket. It's like the Smithsonian, but throughout the country, there is an annual fee, and it is only for museums)

I've visited at least 3 UNESCO World Heritage sites: the canals in Amsterdam, Kinderdijk (a village with 18th-century windmills), and the historic center of Prague.

I've "Dutchified" my bike with the addition of a headlight, rear tire frame and saddlebags. The saddlebags come in handy when I bike to Jumbo (pronounced "yumbo") for grocery shopping.

In Ireland I drove a right-hand drive manual car for more than 15 minutes and SURVIVED!

I've learned which stores to go to for certain items (for example, Aldi is the best place to get coffee pods for our Nespresso), and I've added the local Thursday farmer's market to my weekly grocery shopping venues.

I've become blasė about riding the tram and train to get to where I need to be.

I've gotten lost numerous times on my bike trying to find my way to Haagse Markt only to FINALLY discover I had been making it exceedingly more complicated than it needed to be.

I've learned to plan my errands around free bathrooms and to hold my nose if I absolutely had to use the facilities while on the train. (I've also learned to make sure I have tissues and hand sanitizer with me just in case neither toilet paper nor water were available in the train toilet)

I've become more adept at avoiding stepping in dog shit while walking around Scheveningen.
I have NOT learned how to pronounce Scheveningen properly.

All in all, this is has been a great experience, despite my moments of sadness and feelings of loss. Hubs and I have accrued some wonderful memories that we will be able to hold onto for the rest of our lives (or until dementia kicks in)

So... if anyone can find a way to get my sons to get over their flying issues AND make them a bit more chatty on FB PM I think I'd be ok to stay here for a couple more years - after all, we haven't visited *ALL* the EU countries 😜

Dutch provinces - North Holland

As I mentioned in this blog there are 12 provinces in The Netherlands. This entry will briefly cover North Holland (Noord-Holland).

Location of North Holland

Flag of North Holland

North Holland is the province where the country's capital, Amsterdam, is located.

Flag of Amsterdam

I haven't actually seen much of Noord-Holland, having spent the bulk of my time in that province in Amsterdam, which has enough museums and sights to keep one occupied for several days (and let's not forget the Heineken Experience!! But, to be honest, I was feeling really old by the end of that tour). I've visited the Anne Frank house twice so far, with a 3rd visit planned for next month. Fortunately, most of the museums in Amsterdam are included with the Museumkaart and are thus free.

The location that ranks second for amount of time spent would be Schiphol airport. The runways are vast, crossing at least 1 highway. I generally joke that we're in Germany by the time we actually take off. 

I did visit Zaanse Schans when my friend came to visit back in April. It is the more touristy version of Kinderdijk.

There is also the IJsselmeer which is currently a lake (hence "meer") but was once part of the Zuiderzee but was blocked off to create a fresh water lake. Boat trips on the lake are available.

I've heard that Haarlem is a pretty town (home of another Ikea) but I have yet to actually make a stop there.

Gym complaints

About 6 weeks ago I joined a gym here in NL. It's a no-frills gym, as indicated by it's name "Basic Fit". It has a few things going for it: 1) it's only €20 every 4 weeks (yes, every 4 weeks, not per month); 2) I can go to any of their locations throughout Europe with my membership; 3) they have all the equipment that I want; 4) the closest location is a 5 minute walk from our apartment.

Unfortunately, I was spoiled back in the US by the gym in the office building where I worked because I would go there right after work and usually have the place all to myself. And if I went on the weekend I *DEFINITELY* had the place all to myself. No lunks. No loud music. No waiting to use the equipment (even though there was only 2 elliptical machines). Little did I know at the time that I was in gym heaven.

Alas, that is no longer the case. And being a bit of an introvert I have some "issues" with the gym. These issues are not specific to Basic Fit (except maybe 1)  nor are they specific to Dutchies. But I need to get these grievances off my chest, so please humor me.

1) all the noise, noise, noise, NOISE
a) The gym plays music throughout the facility at a level to which I am almost unable to hear my iPod without cranking up the volume so much I'm in fear of going deaf. I do understand and appreciate that on some level this is related to my inability to tune out background noise of any kind, but it is quite loud and annoying. And, from what I can see, bordering on unnecessary as almost everyone comes with their own music.

b) People DROP the weights which generates a thunderous sound and an ensuing vibration. IMHO, if you are dropping weight in such a fashion then 1 of 2 things is happening: 1) you are using too heavy a weight and are unable to maintain control until you lower it to its final resting place; 2) you want EVERYONE in the gym to acknowledge just how heavy a weight you are "pumping" and are therefore an ass.

Example: One day, as I was leaving the gym, this guy was using what appeared to be a barbell that was attached on one end to a weight lifting frame and on the other end were a SHITLOAD of weights. He was pushing the weighted end up in the air as the other end of the barbell pivoted on the floor. Welp, when he was done, he simply DROPPED THE BARBELL FROM ABOUT 5' OFF THE GROUND. Holy crap! WHY!?!?

c) People grunting while they work out. I'm not saying people aren't allowed to make some noise while they exercise/lift weights, but... COME ON! You're not pushing out a baby, nor are you lifting a car off someone, especially on a cardio machine. I contend that, here too, it MIGHT be done just to get some attention from other gym members "Look at me! I'm exercising so heavily I need to sound like a moose in rut!!"

2) abusing the equipment
a) Part of this complaint is tied to the second paragraph above. I think dropping the weights is bad for the equipment. I know 1 gym I went to back in the US explicitly stated that dropping weights was prohibited.

Example: Just this morning as I was entering the gym I saw a guy drop 2 weight discs on the floor at the same time. I cannot imagine that is good for the discs.

b) Another way people "abuse" the equipment is by occupying TWO MACHINES AT THE SAME FREAKING TIME!!! I've seen members leave their towel on 1 weight machine and then go use another one. COME ON! That's just rude!!

c) This last example isn't necessarily "abusing" the equipment, but it's kind of related to the example above and I didn't think it warranted its own category. There are people who spend A LOT longer on the weight machines just sitting there as opposed to the amount of time they spend actually lifting weights. I have no idea what they're doing... balancing their checkbook? stalking an ex? applying for a mortgage? But I'll pass by the machine and the person will be deeply absorbed in their phone for several minutes. I know there are apps out there to help one with their weight training goals, even the gym has an app, but the amount of time these people are spending JUST SITTING THERE far exceeds the amount of time required to enter the number of reps they just completed and at what weight amount. No matter what they're doing between reps, they are not actually using the machine and they are leaving it idle for a large amount of time.

3) smells
I have experienced the gamut of smells at this gym. One day I was walking behind the elliptical machines towards one that was unoccupied. I got a whiff of something rather pungent as I made my way. Pungent as in... "I'm doing my part to save the planet by not showering for 3 weeks". You can imagine that this smell DOES NOT get better as one exercises. I was trying to breathe through my mouth so as not to retch and discovered that I could actually TASTE THE SMELL.

On the other end of the spectrum was the guy who smelled like he had just taken a swim in a pool filled with cologne. GAW! As he exercised the smell just became stronger and stronger and stronger. Here again, I was trying to breathe through my mouth so as not to smell it. Cologne doesn't taste good.

Despite these complaints I will keep going as I have signed up for a year membership. Don't worry about me, I'll adapt. ;-)

Dutch Provinces - South Holland

There are 12 provinces in The Netherlands: North Holland, South Holland, Zeeland, Gronigen, Friesland, Utrecht, Flavoland, Drenthe, Overijssel, Gelderland, North Brabant and Limburg. While living in NL hubs and I are on a mission to find something to visit in each province.

My first entry in this series is South Holland (Zuid-Holland). I am starting with South Holland because it is the province in which hubs and I live.

The 2 largest (population-wise) cities in South Holland are Den Haag and Rotterdam which also happen to be 2nd and 3rd largest cities in the entire country respectively. (Amsterdam is #1 and is located in North Holland)

Location of South Holland

Flag of South Holland

There is very little in Den Haag that hubs and I have not seen either by tram, bus, train, bike or foot. We live in Scheveningen which is where the beach is located and which is about 5km from city center.

Flag of Scheveningen

Den Haag is also where the Dutch government is seated (although Amsterdam is the country's capital city).

Binnenhof - seat of Dutch parliament

Flag of Den Haag

There are many interesting museums to see as well, and I think I've seen all but a handful thanks to my Museumkaart!  A couple museums of note are Mauritshuis which is where "Girl with the Pearl Earring" is located (this museum is situated just to the left of the building in the above photo), and Escher in Het Paleis, a whole museum dedicated to Escher (🎵my fav-or-ite MC!🎵 - lol)

If you want to get a glimpse at all The Netherlands has to offer I recommend a visit to Madurodam, located about 1/2 way between city center and the beach. The 9 tram stop at Madurodam used to add "Miniature City" in a very posh British accent as part of the automated stop announcement but the powers that be have removed that from it sometime after April 2019.

Hubs and I took a self-guided walking tour of Rotterdam a while back which was focused on the "fire boundary" of the city - the periphery of the May 14, 1940 bombing of Rotterdam. Because much of Rotterdam was destroyed during the war there is a lot of modern architecture. The most famous of the modern architecture in Rotterdam are the "Cube Houses". They are actual houses in which people reside. One house is not occupied and is available for viewing. As you can guess from their shape, the interiors are small with odd angles making for quite a bit of unusable space.

Cube Houses

For a quaint visit I highly recommend the town of Delft which can be easily reached from Den Haag via the 1 tram. It is the home of Royal Delft, the famous pottery company and the town is quaint and picturesque  -  make sure your camera batteries are full and your memory card is empty. (It's also where our closest Ikea can be found!!)